A New Journey

For as long as I can remember, I've always been a big girl. I remember dreading shopping for school clothes because, while my friends all got to shop for the latest fashions in the average size department, I was trying to find something in the husky girls department that didn't look like something my mother would wear. I was always active and loved doing all kids of activities outdoors like hiking and sports, but I always felt like an amazon, even at five feet, five inches. As I got older and my knees started to suffer from years of damage from hiking, snow skiing, ice skating, volleyball and racquetball, I got even heavier. I stopped doing the things I loved because the pain was too great and recovery took longer and longer. I knew I needed to lose weight to get the pressure off my knees, but that is easier said than done. I've tried a gazillion diets and nothing worked for me. Then, last summer, I started taking meds for high blood pressure. I didn't want to be on meds for something I could put an end to just by losing weight, so I made the choice to have weight loss surgery.
It's been a long journey and a lot of hoop jumping to get here, but I am finally here. On Monday, August 1st, I will have my gastric bypass. I'm starting off at 280 pounds and a lot of body fat. As I lose, I'm going to blog my progress and post pics as I go. I'm excited about the new journey. Thank you to all my friends and family who have supported me in my decision. I'll try to make you proud as I make myself feel better!

My Bucket List

This summer is bringing lots of changes for me. I have said goodbye to people and things that are not healthy for me, I've made a choice to be happy, and I am having weight loss surgery. I know that is the biggest change of all. I know my life is going to change. My attitude and people's attitudes toward me will most likely change, too. That is what scares me the most. I know I'm still going to be the me I have always been, but people look at you differently when you are overweight. So it is scary, but change is also a good thing. So with all the changes I am going to experience, I decided to make a bucket list of all the things I want to do in my new life. I'm sure I'll add to this list from time to time.

Kristin's Bucket List

1. Weight loss surgery.
2. Disneyworld with Ryan
3. A cruise/trip to Alaska
4. A trip to Australia
5. Foster care
6. A cross country camping trip that includes the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone.
7. Swim with dolphins
8. Fall in love
9. Move to the ocean or a house on the lake
10. Deep sea fishing
11. Take a train across Canada
12. Write a children's book.
13. Go to NYC for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
14. Skydive
15. Pay off my house
16. TBA

Men In Uniform

 I went to the Smyrna Air Show this weekend and had a great time. It was exciting, emotional, and had a buffet of men in uniform (military and police). I love a man in uniform, but what's not to love? There is just something about them that just makes you stand up and notice. My friends often give me a hard time about my love for men in uniform, but they don't always understand why I love them. It has nothing to do with the romance books I read or the "dangerous, bad ass" man they represent. Those are the fun part of it, yes, but not the real reason I love and admire a man in uniform.
 I grew up in the military. My father was a Major in the Air Force. I was surrounded by young airmen all the time. I never thought anything about it, except pride. Pride in my father and pride in the string of young airmen who had dinner with us often. They were like big brothers to me. I loved the life we had then and it has carried over into my adult life.
 In recent years, I have had many friends in the military (even one I have adopted as a soldier, son, and friend). I love them all. When you see them in plain clothes, they are like any mere mortal, average Joe, but when they put on their uniforms, something changes. They stand taller, prouder and more confident. You feel safer with them. THAT is what I love about a man in uniform. That sense of pride in themselves, their country and the job they do. How can you not love that?
 Lots of people love the romantic idea about the man in uniform, but they don't "get" the realities of the job; the hours they put into training and the time away from their homes and families, and the horrors that many of them see. It's why they have such a high rate of divorce. It's hard when the one you love is gone for long periods of time. It takes someone strong and confident to do it. I have always understood that. Growing up,  my mother, sister and I always supported my father through cards, letters and care packages any time he was deployed somewhere. It was our job as a military family and one I was proud to do. It's something I still do. There are a lot of service men and women out there who want and need the support from home. In the last couple years, I have adopted soldiers through an organization that matches people with deployed soldiers. You can send them cards, letters and even care packages. One of those soldiers has become someone I have gotten to know and am so very proud of both as a soldier and a new dad. He'll be deploying again soon and I'll gladly adopt him again. If you haven't done something like this before, you should give it a try. It can be very rewarding and you are helping to make someone feel a little closer to home. Even if you can't afford to adopt a soldier, there are other things you can do that cost very little. The Green Bean is a coffee house located on military bases/posts all over the world. For as little as $2.00, you can donate a Cup of Joe for a Joe. It's easy to do and greatly appreciated.
 So, yes, I may oogle a man in uniform, but more importantly, I admire, appreciate, and am proud to call some of them "friend".

 P.S. My adopted soldier, friend and son, Michael. Hooah!

Southern Louisiana... home away from home.

Last weekend, I went to Louisiana for a wedding for a dear friend. The weather was amazing and the smells from all the wild flowers in bloom made it a perfect day. Tia looked amazing and so happy. I'm so happy for her! It was a good day, but then, any time I am in Louisiana it's all good.
 I started going to Louisiana several years ago to visit some friends, Alfred and Janice, who lived in a little town called Maurice, just outside of the Lafayette area. I fell in love with the people, the culture, the music, and the food. It's home away from home for me. I try to visit as often as I can and every time I go, I experience something new. I've been to haunted plantations, The Myrtles and Oak Alley Plantation, and a wonderful alligator park the focused on preservation and education of the swamps and bayous of Louisiana. Of course, you can't go to Louisiana without experiencing the amazing local foods.. po'boys, crawfish and crab boils, gumbo, etouffee, oysters, and all kids of fresh fish. Strangely, one of my favorite stops when I'm there isn't for seafood, but Herbert's Specialty Meats, home of the stuffed chickens.They are whole de-boned chickens stuffed with various stuffings that are sewn back up, then rubbed with Cajun seasoning on the outside. Drool worthy!! The local shop does not ship them, but you can order from their Oklahoma store. They have become a favorite request from friends and family. My last trip had me returning with 43 chickens!!
 I didn't get to see my friends on this last visit, but still had a great time. I traveled with two friends, Lisa and Eddie. It was Eddie's first trip to New Orleans and he had no idea what he was in for on the road with Lisa and I. We introduced him to Hurricanes at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop and Monsoons at Port of Call (along with their AMAZING burgers). We learned to cook at the New Orleans School of Cooking and had huge oysters and great food at the French Market Restaurant and Bar. Of course, we had to have coffee and beignets at Cafe Du Monde. I think we wore poor Eddie out. Nothing like trying to keep up with two tipsy women who go in two different directions. LOL!! Still, we all had an amazing time.
 The trip only had two drawbacks. The first was a personal attack by a horrible little caterpillar, the Buck Moth Caterpillar. He got under my pant leg and stung my ankle and hand when I grabbed him to remove him. It BURNED!!!!! Evil little slug. He died a horrible death at the foot of my friend Eddie. The second drawback? Leaving.
Someday, I am going to live in Louisiana... mark my words. It's already in my heart.

The Cost of Healthy Eating

  Did you know that grocery stores are set up so that all the basic food groups, your fruits, veggies, proteins, dairy, and grains are along the outside walls of the grocery store? Pay attention the next time you go to your local store. All the foods you should eat whether you are trying to lose weight or just eat healthier are easy to find and arranged in a nice, organized circle. In my quest to make better food choices, I try to shop these sections, but in doing so, I have noticed my grocery bills going up. Why? It costs more to buy fresh and healthy. The precooked, processed foods are cheaper to buy and make. One would think it would be the other way around. I mean, I'm doing most of the work to clean, prep and cook the food, so why is it cheaper to have someone else do it? Personally, I think it's a conspiracy. There are people out there that like/want us to be fat and unhealthy. Insurance companies make a killing off weight related illnesses and so do all those weight loss companies who hock programs and products to people who are looking for quick, instant weight loss. They'd be out of business if we could all afford to eat healthy. Summertime is easier on the wallet. Farmers markets and roadside stands help with reducing the cost of fresh produce and I am supporting my local farmers in the process. Bonus!
 In the long run, I know the payoff for a healthier me is going to be worth it, so I keep buying fresh and healthy and try not to cringe too much when I hand over my debit card. Hurry up Summer!!!

Why A Teacher?

As long as I can rememeber, I wanted to be a teacher. Well, except for that short period when I thought I might be a veterinarian, but the thought of putting an animal to sleep was just too traumatic for me. Plus all that math!! Blah!
Teaching was a natural choice for me. My mother was an amazing teacher, my father became a teacher after he retired from the military, and I had a string of crappy teachers who made me want, more than anything, to be a better teacher than they were. I also had some teachers who had a positive impact on me... Miss Eanice, Mrs. Edmunds, and Mr. Rocci to name a few. To them I will be forever grateful for their encouragement, advice, and dedication to their students and profession.
So really.. why teaching? The pay stinks, you spend a lot of time working after hours, weekends and even at home, you spend a LOT of money out of your own pocket to buy things to enrich your teaching and you get little respect from the government officials who decide your fate without ever having walked in your shoes. Then there is the biggest pressure of all... meeting the individual needs of twenty-five bright, energetic, eager, fragile, small individuals. As a kindergarten teacher, what I do today lays the foundation for what they will do in the future. No pressure there.
Teaching is joyful, heartbreaking, funny, random, frustrating, rewarding, challenging and I love ever minute of it! I love the look on a child's face when they "get it". I love their open, unfiltered view of the world. I love the challenge of meeting the needs of each child and watching them grow more excited with each new word they can read on their own. It's the hardest job in the world and the most rewarding.
Let's not forget the perks of teaching, too. Where else can you work and be guaranteed to get a hug or random, "I love you"? What office is decorated with unique artwork created by curious, talented, creative minds? Where can you work and get stories written and illustrated just for you by budding little artists and authors or gifts of melted chocolate from fuzzy little pockets and crushed backpacks? Jealous? You should be!
Why do I teach? Because I can.

Love is a beautiful thing, but....

Love is a beautiful thing. We make a big deal out of love. Valentine's Day, weddings, flowers, gifts, rings, candy, and other romantic gestures abound, especially this time of year. Yep, love is great, but trust is better. If I had to choose, I'd pick trust over love any day. You may love me, but will you catch me if I fall? You may love me, but can I say anything to you and trust you with my words? You may love me, but can I share my feelings with you and trust you to keep them safe? You say you love me, but do your actions match your words? I hope you can answer yes to these questions. I hope I can, too.
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT down on love. I truly believe it is a wonderful thing, but sometimes I think we throw it out there too easily.  I am not expert on relationships. Heaven knows, I can't seem to get it right, but I recently listened to a friend talk about his/her struggling relationship and wonder, why do you stay? Their issues weren't the day to day frustrations all relationships face, but  "trust" breaking issues... cheating, lying, and a total lack of communication with a healthy dose of insecurities heaped on top. Trust is all but gone and neither is doing anything to fix or change it.
If you love someone, but you can't trust them, how can you say you even have a relationship? Do you work at making it better and try to build that trust back? It's hard, but not impossible. I think, if you love someone, you owe it to yourself and them to try. However, if you work at it, make changes and even seek outside help and still can't trust again, why stay in a situation that is only going to continue to hurt? How can you even say that is love? Sometimes, you just have to love and trust yourself more and walk away. I believe in love, but I believe in trust to keep that love strong.
And for my friend.... love yourself.