Saturday, January 22, 2011

Steady As She Goes

The holidays are behind us and so is all the good food. Thank Goodness!!!!!! Why is it during any holiday, the food and temptation to over eat seems greater? I mean, it's all the same foods that are available any other time of the year.. cookies, cakes, casseroles, turkey, ham, beverages. Yet when you add the word holiday, it seems to put an emphasis on those foods and a license to overindulge. I tried to be good, I really did, but I found myself giving into temptation more than once. I ate that slice of chocolate cheesecake made by my brother-in-law's sister. I had seconds of the cheesy-pineapple casserole that I made for the family holiday meals. I ate, drank and made merry, but I also tried to be good. So instead of a HUGE slice of cheese cake, I had a small sliver. Instead of heaping spoons of my casserole (and others) I had small scoops. In between holiday meals and parties, I ate lighter and walked more. The payoff? I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain either. I stayed the same. I'm pretty content with that. In some ways, it has motivated me more than if I had lost. I now know I can control my portions and still enjoy all the foods I love... especially at the holidays. I can do this!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Life is Short...how will you live?

I'm a cancer survivor. My first diagnosis was seven years ago. I required surgery and six weeks of radiation. A year to the day later, I was diagnosed with early stage one cancer, this time in my left breast. More surgery and more radiation. That same year, I lost my father to cancer and almost lost my mother to a brain injury and heart issues. Life was a horrible roller coaster ride and I wanted to get off, but it's also a short ride. I decided then that I was not going to be afraid to let the people I love know that I loved them.. no matter to what degree that love reached. If they didn't love me back, that was ok. I decided not to take life for granted and to live each day with no regrets. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that. I slipped back into the same old routines I always had.. work and home with some play. I didn't do a lot of the things I wanted to do.
Yesterday I got the news that one of my best friends through high school and after college had passed away suddenly that morning. Her name was Tami. We had lost touch over the years and had only recently reconnected on Facebook. She had done so much with her life and had big plans to do even more. I was thrilled to hear all about her life since our days of running around. Then all of a sudden, she was gone. I was stunned. It was too soon. Her passing had my thoughts turning again to all the things I wanted to do, but hadn't. She had done so much with her life and I felt as though I had done so little.
So today, I reflected and decided to follow her lead and live life so everyday is special. When I lay my head down at night, I want to know I lived the best I could. I am going to get out more, dance, play, volunteer, love and live. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thank you Tami, you lived well. You will be missed.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Garden

In their innocence, kids say the funniest things. We've probably all heard their opinions of the world through their little eyes and chuckled or even been embarrassed at their poor timing for such observations, but sometimes they ask questions that make us think.
A few years ago, I was teaching kindergarten in an inner city school in Knoxville, Tennessee. It was January and the week before Martin Luther King Day. My students were heavily involved in a lesson and discussion about Dr. King, segregation and civil rights. (Yes, kindergarten... don't underestimate their ability to understand deep topics.) In the back of my room stood the husband of a coworker and our class visitor for career day (he also happened to be a black man). Suddenly, my blonde haired, blue eyed Patrick speaks up and asks, "Miss Pucker, why did God make black people?" I froze. My eyes popped up to see what Mr. Grays reaction would be and Patrick sat there and patiently awaited my answer. Then it came to me...
Me: Patrick, if you planted a garden, would you plant just red flowers?
Patrick: No.
Me: Would you plant just orange flowers?
Patrick: No.
Me: Blue?
Patrick: No.
Me: What would you plant?
Patrick: Well, I'd plant all kinds of flowers.
Me: Well, we're like God's garden and he likes a lot of colors, too.
Patrick: OK.
I smiled. Mr. Gray smiled and to Patrick, it was as simple as that, "OK".
We celebrate the life of Dr. King on Monday, but we should celebrate his teachings and message every day. Every year, I am reminded of that conversation with Patrick and how simple it's message was and how it made me think. We are like a garden, each flower beautiful in it's own way. Together we have the potential to make something magnificent, if we could all learn to accept and respect the beauty and diversity of all cultures. Dr. King dreamed of this and others continue in his footsteps. Let's not forget. God loves diversity and color, why can't we?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Shopping: The Big and Little Deal: Panties, Petites and Prices

Most people who know me know I HATE to shop. I am a disgrace to women everywhere. I just don't have the patience to wander through store after store just to look. When I shop, I know what I want, go get it, and go home. Clean, simple, quick, and easy. Usually.
My dislike of shopping stems form the unfairness of it. I'm a big girl. I shop in the plus size departments and stores. However, I am losing weight and have recently had to look for some smaller sizes in some things, like panties. (Now I know you probably don't want to hear about my panties, but a recent experience was a perfect example of the unfairness of shopping when you are a big girl.) When I got to the store to make my panty purchase, I picked up a 5 pack of my usual Hanes Just My Size (full figure) panties for $9.50, but as I walked by the "regular" size Hanes rack, I noticed something; they had the same size panties with 6 in a pack for $6.50!!!!! The difference? They were not marketed for the full figure gal. The idea behind it is that full figured clothes use more fabric and that raises the cost. We are considered a "specialty" size and often have to pay higher prices. I say BULL... the extra pair of panties in the "regular" pack would add up to more fabric than they used in the "full figure" package, but they charged $3.00 less.  We full figured gals suffer this injustice often, but we are not alone in our shopping woes. My best friend is tiny and petite and she has the similar shopping issues. It's not about cost for her, but the availability of stylish professional clothes in her size for her age. The clothes are either too frumpy or unprofessional. Not only that, but they often charge more for petites, too. Why? It's a "specialty" size.
So big or little, you are special, and as such, you pay special prices. Fair? No. Fact of life? Yes.
I think I'll boycott and go naked.

Friday, January 7, 2011

People Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend

When DeDe and I became friends, I realized three things...
1. First impressions aren't always right, and
2. A single moment and a single decision can make the difference of a lifetime.
3. Friends are family you choose.
When I first met DeDe, I didn't really like her. She was bubbly, outgoing and had the longest eyelashes I had ever seen. I just KNEW they were as fake as I thought she was. I was not impressed. Then I had a chance to spend some time with her. Who knew a trip to a store on Super Bowl Sunday in a snow storm would lead to a lifelong friendship! We still laugh about that day... me driving my little mystery colored VW Beetle and her leaning out the window in the snow and cold, spraying de-icer on the windshield. We were a sight, and on that day, we became inseparable.
At the time, I was in a single person room in the dorm and she lived off campus, but we stole a mattress from an overflow room in the dorm and stashed it under my bed so she could crash in my room at night. Later, we would get a two person room on the first floor of Murphy Hall at Tennessee Tech and we would RULE that floor! Life was never dull with DeDe. From food kicks and practical jokes to football and frat parties, we blazed a trail through our college years.
Twenty some odd years later, she is still my best friend. Nobody knows me better. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her and I know she feels the same. She has been there though thick and thin. Even the years we spent in separate cities didn't make a difference.. we'd just pick up where we left off as though no time had passed. She makes me laugh, she listens to me cry. She's ready to take off the gloves and kick anyone's butt if she thinks they have hurt me in some way. I'd do no less for her. I couldn't love her any more if she were family. She's my best friend, my partner in crime, my sister of choice. Love ya, DeDe!!
P.S. The eyelashes are real!!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Puck Talk

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love hockey. One of the reasons I was so tickled to be moving to Nashville was because they have an NHL team, the Nashville Predators. Growing up in the north, I was always a fan of the game. I remember playing with the neighborhood kids on a rink made in a neighbor's driveway. While I grew up with the game, I never really knew much about it. I loved the speed and hits, the names of the players and the jerseys, but I didn't know what "offside", "icing", "boarding" meant or even who did what on the team. I just liked to watch.
Since I moved to the Nashville area, I have been to many games. A couple years ago, I even had a season ticket in the rowdy 303 Cellblock section. I wasn't able to get season tickets the next year because I didn't have a friend who wanted to get them. I missed my hockey games. Oh, I still made the occasional game and watched the games on TV when they were on, but it wasn't the same. Then, last year, I met someone who also loved hockey and has since become a good friend. Matt has two season tickets and often invited me to go to games with him. I was hooked all over again. This time, however, I started learning more about the game itself and when the season ended and season tickets went on sale for this year, I jumped on the chance to get my own seat (right next to Matt's two.. he's such a good guy)!!
Now I am an official season ticket holder. My interest in hockey goes beyond the Predators.I have started watching other teams and players more closely. I have learned what offside, icing, and boarding mean, as well as, many other technical terms. I even recognize penalties as they happen on occasion! If I can see it, the ref should, too! Sadly, it doesn't always happen that way. I know the difference between a defenseman and a forward and where they generally hangout on the ice. I recognize players beyond the pretty face and respect their talents and team contributions. I've also learned other random hockey trivia such as why they freeze the game pucks and what it means if a player tucks in the back of his jersey. With each game I learn more, but my first love is still the speed and the hit, the energy and the chants of the game. If you haven't been to a game, you should! I'd love to be your guide!

Monday, January 3, 2011

On Shrinking

I have always been a big girl. Other than being short, I don't think I have ever been petite. I've tried every diet out there from Weight Watchers to Phen-Phen and back again. I'd lose and gain, lose and gain. I should be dizzy from all the bouncing around I have done in the past. If you ask my best friend DeDe, she'd tell you she doesn't understand why I am big. I don't over eat and I don't eat too unhealthy ( usually...we all have our moments) and I have always been active. This past summer, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, sleep apnea and severe arthritis in my knees. With the exception of the arthritis, all are the result of being overweight, and while the arthritis is not a result of the weight, all of my access weight does add additional pressure and pain to my knees. I was tired of being fat and now was the time to get serious about losing weight.
 I have had friends who had weight loss surgery. At first, I was totally against it. To permanently alter your body just scared me. Despite my fears and feelings about the surgery, I researched it. I read what people who had the surgery had to say both good and bad. I looked up statistics regarding risks and the possibility of gaining the weight back. I talked to health care professionals and friends who had had the surgery. I educated myself as much as possible. In the meantime, I got the sleep apnea under control with a sleep study and cpap machine. I had blood work done and found out I was vitamin D deficient and started taking supplements...who knew that  both of these conditions would effect weight loss and gain. After getting those under control, I lost 30 pounds... just what my insurance required a a prerequisite for surgery. Yes, as you have guessed, I am going to take the plunge. I want to be healthy and active. I miss doing all the things I used to do. I have set a goal for a summer surgery. I have a checklist of things I need to do in order for insurance to approve, but I have already fulfilled most of the requirements. I'm going to continue to lose weight on my own. I am curious to see how far I can go on my own. Right now, I'm 30 pounds lighter and I feel good about  myself. Go me! The best is yet to come!